This past week I flew to Austin to volunteer at If:Gathering. Jeremy was already there in meetings. But he got very sick. 3 trips to 3 different Doctors. 12 pounds lighter. And no food for a week.
Needless to say, the trip was different than we had planned. Half my days were spent serving at If. Half were spent with him. Or following my GPS around Austin to hospitals and Targets and Walgreens. By the end, we both just wanted to go home.
So instead of glorious posts about our trip and serving, I’ve got some pretty raw notes I jotted on my phone. Honest. Confused. Maybe I shouldn’t even share them.
But I am. For the next week or so. Bare with me. Maybe in some weird way you’ll be encouraged. God spoke to women at If:Gathering (it was amazing by the way…I’ll post pictures below). And He spoke to me. In hotel lobbies. In Target floors. On airplanes.
And He often speaks in ways we don’t expect. In ways we want to avoid. But He speaks. Here goes…
Thinking lots…here at If. Excited to volunteer. Jeremy gets flu and another virus. ER. Walgreens. Target. Using up my data plan to navigate Austin. On a mission. Not the one I planned on doing. Fetched medicine and ice for him today in my volunteer shirt.
Is this my true calling? Do I want so much human praise that I refuse to accept this as my calling? Am I refusing to make it my passion?
Stop comparing. Stop wishing for more. Giving time to things that aren’t for this season. Love Jeremy. Love the boys. Serve our family. Accept that as a heavenly calling. Mine.
All other choices aside. All thoughts of recognition gone. Humbled. Serving them for Him. “All to the glory of God.”
Washing feet. And clothes. And wiping tears. All washing feet. Like Jesus. Grace. Love poured out.
Father, I want to be used.
“He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:4,5)
…We also helped people find seats. Sold books. Unloaded crates. Etc. Etc. Etc.