Thoughts from the day we left Austin to fly home. I was kind of a mess!=)…
What did I learn this weekend? My immediate response-“Prayer doesn’t work.”
We prayed Jeremy would get better. Trusted each new Dr and medicine would work. But a week later, now on a plane home with a still very sick husband, my faith is weak. “Prayer doesn’t work.” That’s my honest feeling right now.
If thinking clearly, my answer would be much different. It’s not something new I learned but a reminder. A smack in the face reminder-“God is only good.” I don’t want to swallow it because the fresh thoughts that “prayer doesn’t work” are colliding with the Spirit.
But my soul knows it. Deeply. In car wrecks that have haunted me through Jeremy’s weak eyes this weekend. In failed plans to serve God in Austin this weekend. He is good. Good.
When my prayers seem to be hitting the ceiling of a quiet hotel or the ceiling of a noisy plane He is still good.
Unanswered prayers suck. And hurt. And make me want to scream. But God is still good.
He listens as I complain. He holds me as I punch the air. He asks me to dance, to trust Him, to keep praying in the pain. He is good.
I will keep saying it in hopes I will one day believe it no matter the state of my prayers.
“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31,32)
…And thankfully, Jeremy is much better now that we’re back in NC!