More random notes I jotted on my phone while at IF. Still thinking on this one…
I’m called to serve. As Jesus served me. Laying down my life. Loving others. Seeing their needs as greater than mine.
But it gets old. And thankless. And I want to be served too.
Watching Jeremy so sick this weekend helped my perspective. I served however I could. Never felt burdened. Let me get you ice. Or Popsicles. Or find another Target. Yes, I sat in the floor of the 3rd one in 3 days staring at a row of medicine. Wanting to cry. And wondering if any of them would finally work.
But I never hated serving. Because I saw the need. How I long for Jeremy to be well. Why does it takes sickness for me to love and serve him without reservation?
God break my heart for him. For the boys. So much so that I can serve with joy even when I’m burned out. When I just want some time alone.
Break my heart like Yours broke for me. You saw a need I didn’t know I had. And You gave up everything to meet it. Be my strength. Be my joy.
May I be grateful to have a healthy family to serve. Who need me. Who need You. “Break my heart for what breaks Yours.” Even if it’s unnoticed. Or painful. Or seemingly ridiculous.
You are my portion. My strength. My joy.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” (Lamentations 3:24)