As soon as I shut the car door the tears fell. Uncontrollably. At Pizza Hut with Jeremy for lunch it happened again. Whoa pregnant woman…slow down…get control. But I couldn’t. Still barely can’t hours later. There’s a lot going on. Good stuff. And well, I haven’t had much time alone recently.
The latest-We’ve sold our house in Durham. We feel so blessed that God brought along the perfect buyer. This was part necessity/ part desire. With 4 little boys running around (and a spunky little girl), they need more space…outside space. So we’re praying and looking and making plans for our family’s future. All exciting-really! But some days a little overwhelming (grace can do that).
I am quick to hit emotional walls like the one I’m in now where I just have to pull away. Jeremy said it at lunch before I did. The 2 months before Esther came I did the same thing. Silenced this outlet and that. Started this personal study and that. Shut the door on things so I could breathe more deeply. So I could be established in the only thing that’s really established.
So here we go again…indefinitely. And I share for 1 reason…There may be others who need to pull away. Maybe no one else knows it but you. Be encouraged. You’re not alone. We are all huge messes in need of huge grace. Praise be we serve a faithful Father. Farewell…for now!=)
My chosen study for this go round…Ann Voskamp’s devotional “One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces.” Maybe I’ve already done it once.=) But it helps me focus on Him, and the Gospel, and all the things I forget when life gets crazy.
“And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.” (Matthew 14:23)