Off the bat let me clear the air…I am so blessed to be able to stay home with our kids.
But I also believe we are failing at it.
No day will ever be perfect. We will all question our choices at some point.
Maybe I announced to the neighborhood the other day…”Why is my life so dumb? Is this really why I went to college?” All the while holding one baby and chasing a puppy from yard to yard. (Dear Lord, I hope no one saw me!).
Being thankful to stay home can get smashed with the cookie I wipe off my shoulder. It can get lost in the pile of laundry on the bed. And we’re left looking around…wondering…why am I even doing this?
We’ve all been there.
But here’s where I think we’re failing. Nope, not in our bad days. Not in the ones where we text SOS messages to our hubbies. No.
I believe we’re failing by claiming to be stay at home Moms and chasing all kinds of other things.
Staying home doesn’t mean I have time to change the world. (Or could I already be?)
I’m tempted to commit to this and that and drag my kids around while I “stay home” yet continue to chase my dreams.
I believe He’s saying to me…”Either be all here or be all there. Stop trying to manage and juggle both.”
And I do need me time. And things I do for enjoyment. And I am called to live on mission. And Heaven knows…just let me get out of this house once a week!
But where’s my heart? Is it all here? Is it in this little place where He’s called me? For now?
Then God, help me to be all here. All of me. For Your glory.
He can be trusted.
And He sees me on those bad days. He sees me looking at the college degree on the wall wondering what in the world happened. He sees me wishing for more.
But He also sees me sharpening these little arrows with the sword of His Word every day. He sees me teaching grace by saying those words “I’m sorry” when Mommy really just needs a time out.
He sees me loving. And struggling. And can I look far enough past dinner to hear Him say “Well done”?
This…this is holy work.
Jim Elliot said, “Wherever you are. Be all there.”
Yes! And somehow…in His way…I believe we’ll find pure joy in the journey.
“His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master’.” (Matthew 25:21)
And if you made it to the end of this post…kudos. I’m anti long blog posts but somehow this one never ended. Sorry!