Every morning this week Alexa’s woke me up at 5:30 from her purposefully placed location in the bathroom.
This morning, with eyes still closed, I responded audibly with “I’m TRYING.”
Because those 2 words characterize my whole existence.
Trying to be a good wife.
Trying to be a good Mom.
Trying to be a good friend.
And this trying is “trying” me. Stealing my joy. Causing me to lash out at the kids. Making me fall into bed every night exhausted.
My journal ended this morning with these words…
“Father, help me to stop trying. To start resting. To ‘be still and know that You are God’.”
All trying stops at the foot of the cross. With the words, “It is FINISHED.”
Because grace has won. We can rest.
And today, that’s what I’ll do.
“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do. Let go of trying to control. Let go of my own way. Let go of my own fears. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks.” (Ann Voskamp)