Too Much Grace

The computer is prompted up on the arm of the chair. My knees are tightly bent. Esther sits against my legs; her little feet pushing into my stomach. And she watches me peck away at this post. Clueless as to how she’s grace embodied to me.

There’s not been much time to write. 4 of them…eating, sleeping, pooping, making messes. But I hear the boys’ laughter from the playroom. I watch Esther watching me. And the words slip out “Too much grace.”

I don’t deserve any grace. None. So all this-it can sometimes be overwhelming. And grace bring responsibility. Maybe some days that’s overwhelming too.

As I type and think about all this grace, I’m not a fool. It didn’t feel like this last year. It doesn’t feel like this to lots of people today. There’s suffering and waiting and pain. And it’s all so numbing. But somehow…even when I can’t see it. There is grace. Enough. For each moment.

“For from his fulness we have all received, grace upon grace.” -John 1:16

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The Gift of Grace

It is SO hard to give our kids the Gospel when I’m disciplining them.  I think that’s because it’s so hard for me to truly accept it-to understand that there’s nothing I can do to make Him love me more or less.  My flesh fights against my faith each day.  Surely there’s something I must do to keep this amazing gift of grace.  Surely there’s something my boys should do to get it.  Help me, Lord, to trust that You have done it all and to parent knowing You will be enough for our boys.