I don’t want this moment to be holy…it wasn’t planned!

Most mornings you’ll find me sitting on the closet floor. Door shut. Pen in hand. Journal open.

I write to think. To wake up. To assure our kids after I’m gone and they nose through my journals that yes…Mom really was a big mess.

But recently the kids have found my spot. They know where I hide. And they come in.

THEY.COME.IN.DURING.MY.ALONE.TIME.

The other morning Kenan was the culprit. Dinosaur pajama pants. Shirtless. Carrying a blue blanket.

And I wanted to frown at him. To shoo him away to an Ipad.

But for some reason I stopped. Put him in my lap. And just held him. Smelled his hair. Breathed deeply of our littlest who’s now 3.

“This is holy.”

That’s what came to mind as we sat there. In the silence.

My Bible was waiting. My journal entry was half done. But somehow the moment felt holy. And I held grace in my arms.

Friends…let’s read our Bibles. Let’s pray. Let’s journal. But let’s not miss the moments where He slips in and says, “This…Even THIS is holy.”

Jesus revealed Himself to people on boats, land, and sky. He spoke to fisherman, tax collectors, and children.

Let’s not miss His grace today in the unexpected places. Let’s BE His grace today in the unexpected places.

 “And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.” (Matthew 10:42)

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A couple things…He was asleep on me. I wasn’t faking this smile. And we were out of town sleeping on the floor.

 

 

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Pushing Through…

I read an article this week titled “What It’s Like To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom On the Verge of Depression.” It’s gotten quite the facebook love. It’s a good article.

Most of us can relate. The Christmas break alone can push us to the brink.

This past week we’ve had 3 kids with strep, 1 with a double ear infection, and a baby with a fever. Oh, and a new puppy that gets up every 3 hours at night to go outside. We are tired!

Staying at home can be hard. Kids are draining. Life is unpredictable.

Here’s where we’re missing it though. When I wipe snotty noses all day. When I administer medicine like a trained nurse. When I cuddle two crying babies. I can’t miss the moment. All of that is holy work. Selfless. Holy.

And I’m being offering the chance to love like Jesus.

Will going out for coffee help? Yes! Will venting to a close girlfriend help? Of course!

But when I’m at the end of myself, I can keep serving because of how God has served me. I can love because of how He’s loved me.

He is teaching me to deny myself. He is showing our kids what love looks like.

And with each moment I’m about to lose my sanity but press on, I’m tasting more of His grace. I’m experiencing more of His love. I’m understanding Calvary’s sacrifice in simple, every day ways.

Don’t miss it. Not today. The hassles He is calling holy.

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1,2)

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(And yes, I’m writing this to help convince myself all of it is true! Always sanctifying!)

Is today somehow holy?

On a particularly long day I wrote this in my journal…

This…this fixing meals and correcting anger and cleaning rooms…it’s holy work. I don’t want it to be.

It seems holy work should be visible work. I want others to recognize what I do. I need them to declare it’s holy.

But Jesus’ years on earth turned that upside down. His holy work-the most holy-was laying down His crown, serving the broken, loving sinners, sacrificing His life. That’s holy work. That’s what He did for me.

Can’t I be content here? Tired maybe but content? Can’t I look into those little faces and believe that this, even this, in this place we call home, this is holy work?

God, help me to see what You see and long only for Your well done.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23-24)

photo 1 (6) Ready for a cold morning of soccer

photo 2 (6) This unruly blonde head of hair greets me every morning

photo 3 (3) Here’s to homeschool (and crazy boys)